Exploring Bondage: Enhancing Your Relationship Safely and Excitingly
Bondage is a popular kink and often one of the first things people try when exploring BDSM. If you're here, you're probably considering making bondage a regular part of your play. Great! When approached correctly, bondage can benefit your relationship and sex life.
Getting Started: Bondage Safety Basics
1. Communicate Before You Begin
Before trying bondage, discuss with your partner(s) what you hope to achieve. Aligning your goals and desires ensures that the positions and play you choose are right for you. Consider everything from fantasies to triggers. Discuss every aspect in advance, including which body parts to avoid or emphasize, and any specific sex acts you want or don't want to engage in. Starting the conversation early builds anticipation and helps you consider which fantasies to enact.
2. Never Leave a Tied-Up Person Unsupervised
Once a bondage scene begins, never leave the person tied up unsupervised. No quick bathroom breaks or distractions. Treat bondage play like a road trip: attend to all basic needs before starting and keep essential items within arm’s reach.
3. Keep Safety Shears Nearby
Always have safety shears on hand when playing with rope. These are the same scissors EMTs use, with rounded tips that can’t cut skin. In an emergency, you need to be able to free someone quickly, and untying may not be fast enough.
4. Keep Everything You Need Within Reach
From water and snacks to inhalers or medication, having everything you need close by ensures you won't have to leave your partner alone. Prepare a water bottle and consider what might be needed in an emergency. Ensure any necessary medical items are readily available.
5. Make an Emergency Plan
Plan for emergencies. Avoid positions requiring the person to support their weight, such as tying wrists above the head. If the bound person cannot support themselves, they could be in real trouble. Always have a plan to handle any "what if" scenarios.
6. Use Tools Designed for Bondage
Use body-safe rope and properly installed hard points. The rope from the hardware store isn’t safe for skin, and ceiling hooks aren’t designed to hold much weight. Don’t improvise with bondage gear—use the right tools or find another way to play.
Beginner Bondage Positions
1. Spread Eagle Bondage Position
Secure the person’s wrists and ankles to the four corners of the bed (face up or face down). This position provides complete access to the front or back of their body. Ensure the restraints aren’t too tight—one to two fingers should fit between the bound body part and the cuff. An under-the-bed restraint system can help keep your partner safe and comfortable. To add excitement, attach their arms and legs above their head using separate pieces of rope for adjustability.
2. Chair Bondage Position
This position is reminiscent of the classic "damsel in distress." It's easy to maintain since the person is sitting. Tie their wrists to the arms of a chair and their ankles to the chair legs. Ensure the chair is sturdy enough for the activities you plan.
3. Armbinder Gag Bondage Position
Tying the arms behind the neck creates instant vulnerability and is easier on the shoulders than tying hands at the lower back. Adding a gag enhances the experience by increasing intimacy and adding drool to the mix. Establish non-verbal safewords (safe signals) in case the bound partner needs to stop play.
4. Bound Doggy Style Position
Start with the person on all fours and tie their wrists together, securing them to the headboard or bed leg. Use a spreader bar to keep their ankles apart. This position is great for spanking, sex toys, or penetration. Ensure to check in regularly for comfort and circulation.
Intermediate Bondage Positions
1. Shrimp/Forced Bow Bondage Position
This position requires the bound partner to bend over, restricting their breathing. Check in frequently and let them out before they become too uncomfortable. It’s useful as it allows access to various body parts.
2. Bent Over Bondage Position
Try holding a bent-over position during sex or kink play. Use an ottoman or sex furniture for better balance. A spreader bar can help bind someone in this pose effectively.
Advanced Bondage Positions
1. Hogtie Bondage Position
This challenging position is not for beginners. It puts strain on several body parts simultaneously. Ensure ample precautions and always have a plan to free the bound partner if needed.
2. Mummification Bondage Position
This extreme form of bondage involves encasing the person from head to toe. Discuss potential emotional triggers and establish safewords before trying this. Mummification can enhance intimacy and provide a unique experience.
The Benefits of Bondage
BDSM can benefit mental health, lower stress, and improve communication with your partner(s). Bondage fosters focused attention on your partner's body and experience, building intimacy and connection.
Bondage Aftercare
Aftercare is essential after intense activities like bondage. Address physical and emotional needs, such as wrapping up in a blanket, drinking water, having a snack, and snuggling. Discuss the play that occurred and reassure each other. Save critiques for a later time when everyone is clear-headed.
Conclusion
Bondage can enhance your relationship and reignite a spark if approached safely and thoughtfully. Take ample safety precautions, check in throughout the experience, and always have a plan to set the bound partner free if needed.