At least half of people are curious about kink—even if they’ve never explored it themselves. Are you?
Most people are familiar with "vanilla" sex—comfortable, sweet, and with no surprises. However, many have likely dabbled in something a little more adventurous. A survey in the Journal of Sex Research found that nearly half of 1,040 participants were interested in kink, even if they hadn’t yet explored it.
Kinks are unconventional desires, fantasies, or sexual practices that deviate from what’s typically considered "normal." What excites one person might confuse or even terrify another—and that’s perfectly fine. Sexual preferences are not one-size-fits-all.
Here’s a guide to seven popular kinky acts and how to explore them safely and consensually.
Note: Some descriptions may be intense for some readers. Educate yourself thoroughly before trying any of these kinks to ensure safety.
1. Blood Play
What is blood play?
Blood play involves incorporating blood into sexual activities, often paired with edgeplay or hematolagnia (blood fetish). Some enjoy the sight, taste, or the pain associated with extracting blood.
How to explore blood play
Minx, a BDSM expert from Washington, D.C., stresses that blood play requires formal training and practice. It’s not for beginners. "Blood play is about sensation and connection, not medical precision," she explains.
Minx recommends a safer approach called the "fakeout" for those curious. Using a blindfold, simulate the act of cutting with a butter knife (without serrated edges!) and drop lube on your partner’s skin. Theatrics can provide a similar rush without the risks.
Safety tip: Blood play poses risks like infection, scarring, or Hepatitis C. Know the risks, and ensure informed consent before proceeding.
2. Exhibitionism/Voyeurism
What is exhibitionism and voyeurism?
Exhibitionists enjoy being seen, often in public or semi-public settings, while voyeurs derive pleasure from watching others without their knowledge.
How to explore exhibitionism and voyeurism
Jefe from Brooklyn discovered the thrill of exhibitionism at public sex parties. For voyeurs, watching others can also enhance sexual excitement.
Resources:
Before engaging in public activities, understand local laws. Nude beaches, sex clubs, and swingers’ events may offer legal spaces to explore these desires. Remember, consent is crucial in all scenarios, so ensure all parties are comfortable.
3. Role-Playing
What is role-playing?
Role-playing involves taking on different personas to fulfill fantasies during sex.
How to explore role-playing
Sex educator Sunny Rodgers suggests starting small by changing your name for the scene. Create a character who embodies traits or desires you’d like to explore. Whether you want to be a dominatrix or an innocent ingénue, role-playing offers endless possibilities for bonding with your partner.
Expert tip: Role-playing can feel awkward at first. Be patient with your partner and communicate openly to ensure comfort and mutual enjoyment.
4. Cuckolding
What is cuckolding?
Cuckolding involves a dynamic where a husband (the cuck) enjoys watching his wife have sex with another man, known as the "Bull."
How to explore cuckolding
Sex educator Bianca Alba recommends extensive boundary-setting before engaging in cuckolding. Questions to consider include safer sex practices, involvement of the primary partner, and emotional responses.
Challenge: Finding a third participant can be tricky. Fetlife and swinger parties may provide opportunities to meet someone who’s interested in playing the Bull role.
5. Female Domination (Femdom)
What is female domination?
Femdom refers to a BDSM dynamic where the woman takes on the dominant role. Activities might include bondage, pegging, or humiliation.
How to explore female domination
London-based mistress Valerie August encourages beginner dominants to discuss their partner’s submissive desires ahead of time. Start with just a few activities, such as bondage or face-slapping, to build confidence and create a structured scene.
Pro tip: Practice makes perfect! Embrace your "dominant alter-ego" and be creative. Professional BDSM providers often offer consultations to help beginners hone their skills.
6. Rope Bondage
What is rope bondage?
Rope bondage involves using rope to restrict movement or bind a partner as part of BDSM play.
How to explore rope bondage
Monk, the founder of TwistedMonk.com, advises beginners to start with simple techniques, like tying wrists, before attempting more advanced bondage. Communication is key—let your partner guide you on comfort levels.
Safety tip: Always have cutting tools on hand and avoid suspension bondage or tying around the neck. Rope bondage should be a collaborative experience, so keep communication open.
7. Watersports
What is watersports?
Watersports refers to urine play, where individuals may enjoy being urinated on or urinating on their partner.
How to explore watersports
Valerie August suggests discussing what aspect of the kink seems appealing—whether it’s the taboo nature, humiliation, or something else. Start by watching watersports porn or experimenting in the shower.
Tip: Use waterproof bedding or invest in high-quality protective sheets for a more enjoyable experience.
Final Thoughts
Exploring kinky sex acts can be thrilling, but it’s essential to prioritize safety, consent, and communication. Each of these acts has its own set of risks and rewards, so take the time to educate yourself and your partner before diving in.