The pet play dynamic is a unique and intriguing form of role play that revolves around dominance and submission, offering participants an escape from reality and a chance to have fun. This kink, where at least one participant takes on the role of an animal, is gaining popularity despite lingering stigma. At its core, dressing up and behaving like an animal isn't entirely new; think of how common it is to dress as a cat for Halloween. However, for enthusiasts like Erik Freudenberg, known as Pup Kiva, pet play offers an avenue for uninhibited sexual expression.
“I can shape Kiva into anything I like. I used that as an opportunity to admit to myself that I’m gay,” says Freud. Initially drawn into the furry fandom, he found a deeper connection with the kinkier world of pet play and BDSM. “I used Kiva as a way to finally live out my gay feelings. I’ve never been happier since I came out, and putting on the puppy hood played a major role in attaining that happiness.”
Pet play can enhance D/s dynamics, serve as a thrilling outlet for sexual pleasure, and provide a means of escaping daily identities. There are countless reasons why people embrace pet play, and even more ways to practice it. Whether you're new to the scene or an established pet/owner looking for deeper insight, here's an intimate look at the world of pet play from those who live it. (In other words, straight from the pony’s mouth!)
The Basics of Pet Play
Pet play, a fascinating subset of BDSM, involves participants taking on the roles of animals to explore themes of dominance, submission, and degradation. Its origins are multifaceted, but throughout the 20th century, BDSM practitioners increasingly embraced dressing as animals, incorporating elements of training, riding, or disciplining into their scenes. Pet play has significant roots in the BDSM leather culture, particularly within the gay community, where leather masks, harnesses, and collars are common attire. However, pet play is inclusive and open to anyone, regardless of their degree of engagement.
While there is some overlap between pet players and the furry fandom, they are distinctly different. The furry fandom focuses on anthropomorphic animal characters with human personalities, and sometimes incorporates sexual elements. Pet play, on the other hand, falls under the BDSM umbrella and is more closely associated with sexual role play.
Pet play is about finding and embracing your inner animal, and for most in the community, it is a kink. According to a study by Langdridge and Lawson, 90% of people who enjoy pup play do so for sexual reasons. However, Freud, known as Pup Kiva, emphasizes that pet play has no connection to zoophilia. “I get this way too often from people not familiar with it and I can’t stress it enough,” he says.
Refining Your Pet Persona
Freud began exploring pony play but has been active in the pet play culture as a puppy since 2021. “I found that I connected most with the puppy-to-human and puppy-to-puppy dynamics, making it easier for me to adopt the headspace of a puppy,” he explains.
Pet play offers a unique and liberating way to explore one's sexuality and personal dynamics. Whether you're just starting or looking to deepen your understanding, the world of pet play is rich with possibilities for self-expression and connection.
Embracing Your Inner Animal: A Guide to Pet Play
People choose the animals they role play for various reasons—some prefer kittens or puppies because they feel familiar, while others opt for ponies due to the service aspect, such as pulling a cart. There are no strict rules or rituals in deciding which animal resonates most with you in pet play. Experimenting with different animal personas, like a fox, pup, or pony, can be a cathartic process in developing your unique animal identity.
If your exploration involves donning ears or using a butt plug with a tail, there's plenty of gear to discuss. However, as Erik Freudenberg, also known as Pup Kiva, points out, elaborate gear isn't necessary to connect with your animal self.
“Fetish-specific equipment is not the quintessence of pet play,” Freudenberg explains. “For a long time, I feared my gear wouldn’t be enough to participate in the community. Now I know that even just wearing my chain with a dog tag can help me get into the right headspace.”
To start practicing pet play, you only need a basic understanding of what you hope to gain from the experience. A study by Langdridge and Lawson identifies motivations ranging from sexual pleasure and relaxation therapy to self-expression and relationship building. Reflect on what drives you to express yourself as an animal. Do you want it to be a key part of your foreplay? Are you looking to be owned or to own? Would you prefer to engage in pet play with others, or do you find more joy in practicing alone?
Getting Started with Pet Play
-
Identify Your Motivations: Consider why you want to express yourself as an animal. Your reasons can range from enhancing sexual experiences to seeking relaxation or exploring self-expression.
-
Experiment with Physicality: Try to embody the animal you've chosen. Bark, meow, or move in ways that feel authentic. This helps you understand your interests, comfort levels, and boundaries.
-
Use Gear as Desired: While gear can enhance the experience, it's not mandatory. Simple items, like a chain with a dog tag, can be enough to help you get into character.
-
Communicate: If you're exploring the D/s aspect of pet play with a partner or owner, ensure open communication. Discuss desires and boundaries to make sure the experience is enjoyable and respectful for everyone involved.
Pet play is a journey of self-discovery and expression. There are no right or wrong answers, just what feels right for you. Embrace your inner animal, experiment, and find joy in the process.
Enhancing Your Pet Play Experience
You can deepen your pet play experience by developing a distinct animal personality and getting to know that alter ego well. Whether you’re a seasoned practitioner or new to the space, consider these questions to refine your pet persona:
-
Name: Choose a pet name that differs from your everyday name. This helps create a clear distinction between your regular self and your pet alter ego.
-
Species: Decide which type of animal resonates with you the most. This could be a puppy, kitten, fox, pony, or any other animal that speaks to you.
-
Color: Visualize what your animal self looks like. This can help you immerse yourself in the headspace during scenes and guide you in selecting appropriate gear.
-
Traits: Determine your pet’s personality traits. Are you mischievous, bratty, sassy, sweet, aloof, or friendly? Understanding your pet’s behavior can add depth to your roleplay and make it more engaging.
-
Role: If you’re participating in pet play with others, consider your role within the group. Are you an alpha, beta, or another role? Knowing this can help you fit into group dynamics more seamlessly.
Taking the time to explore and answer these questions can enhance your pet play experience, making it more immersive and enjoyable. Embrace your alter ego, and let your unique pet persona come to life.
Pet Play in Practice
Role playing as your chosen animal can vary widely from person to person. Professional and lifestyle dominatrix Aviva Diamond understands this diversity well, having worked with numerous practitioners who enjoy being trained, treated like domestic animals, or disciplined.
"Puppy and pony play are excellent for submissives who thrive on training and protocol," she shares with Kinkly. Diamond often engages her subs by teaching them tricks, training them in desired behaviors, and involving them in service acts, such as fetching. This structured approach to pet play adds layers of interaction and satisfaction for both the dominatrix and the submissive.
Pet Play in Practice
"Pet play is deeply dehumanizing, so many pet play subs also enjoy humiliation and degradation," explains professional and lifestyle dominatrix Aviva Diamond.
Whether you’re a pet or an owner, incorporating elements of humiliation can make the experience incredibly stimulating. For instance, having your puppy hump your leg or riding your sub like a pony can add a thrilling dimension to your play. Diamond also suggests integrating sensory play by having your pet sniff various parts of your body, mimicking real animal behavior.
While many of Diamond's clients identify as pups, she notes that she doesn’t work with as many kittens due to their typically bratty nature, which doesn’t align with her kinks. "Kitten play is good for bratty bottom subs who want to take on a cat’s demeanor and prefer to be pampered and cared for as an owned pet, rather than being in service to their owner," she explains.
Ideas for a Pet Play Scene
When conducting a pet play scene, Diamond follows a structured approach:
Start With a Ritual
Begin with a ritual to establish submission. Have the submissive strip naked, get on their hands and knees, and kiss the owner’s feet, or perform another act of submission. This helps the pet quickly enter subspace.
Set the Scene
Diamond uses various props to enhance the scene’s authenticity. This might include:
- A collar and leash
- Dog or cat bowls filled with food and water
- Puppy pads
- An animal cage
- Treats and toys
For pony play, she includes a saddle and a riding crop. If elaborate props aren't available, you can creatively repurpose household items, like using kitchen bowls for pet bowls or a belt as a leash.
By incorporating these elements, you can create a rich and immersive pet play experience that suits your dynamic.
Set Boundaries
Establishing clear boundaries is crucial in any BDSM scene, including pet play. It's important to collaborate beforehand to ensure all parties are comfortable and aware of the boundaries that need to be respected during play. Here’s how to approach setting boundaries for your pet play:
Discuss Common Behaviors
Have a conversation about what behaviors will be typical during your pet play scenes. Will the submissive be allowed to wear clothing? Will they be required to stay on their hands and knees? Determine these rules together.
Define Communication Rules
Decide how communication will work during the scene. For example, professional dominatrix Aviva Diamond prefers her subs not to speak while behaving as her pet. "I prefer not to have my subs speak when they’re behaving as my pet, so they only make animal noises as a response unless they use a safeword," she says.
By discussing and setting these boundaries beforehand, you can ensure a safe, enjoyable, and consensual pet play experience for everyone involved.
Enhancing Your Pet Play Experience
Try Dirty Talk
Incorporating dirty talk can make the scene more immersive for all parties involved. Aviva Diamond uses praise to reinforce good behavior, with phrases like “good boy,” “good girl,” and “what a good puppy,” mimicking how you might talk to an actual pet. She also engages in verbal humiliation, using phrases such as “You’re just a filthy dog,” “lick the food off the floor,” or “no dogs on the bed, stay down there on the floor.”
Consider a Training Objective
Teaching and rewarding are key components of pet play in BDSM. Diamond recommends using specific rewards, such as an orgasm, to enhance the training element and make it more engaging.
Getting Involved With the Pet Play Community
If you’re interested in connecting with the pet play community, the first step is understanding that this practice is inclusive and open to everyone. Ryan Warn from Puppy Play Expert emphasizes the community's inclusivity, welcoming individuals of any gender, sexual orientation, identity, and age.
Online Communities
Warn suggests starting with the online community. Many cities have active pup play groups on Facebook where you can stay updated on events and meetups. This is a great way to build connections and get to know fellow pups in your area.
Local Meetups
Look out for monthly pup meetups at local bars. These events are often hosted by experienced pups or handlers who are welcoming to newcomers, providing a friendly environment for beginners and seasoned pups alike.
Finding Long-Term Playmates
For those looking for long-term pet playmates, online groups on platforms like Grindr, Pup Space, and Facebook can be valuable resources. After connecting online, arrange to meet in person, whether for coffee, a pup play date, or a walk in the park, to ensure you feel comfortable with your potential playmate in and out of pup mode.
Procuring Your Pet Play Toys
If you’re beginning your journey into pet play, Warn recommends starting with a hood. "Seeing yourself in the mirror while wearing a hood can be a powerful way to transition into the pet play mindset," he says. The visual of wearing adorable ears or a boop-able nose helps you leave behind everyday worries and fully embrace your pet persona.
Conclusion
The pet play community is vibrant and welcoming, offering a space for individuals to explore a different side of themselves. It's a journey of self-exploration, creativity, and fun. Expect friendly faces, playful interactions, and a genuine eagerness to socialize and learn from one another at events and conventions. Embrace the unique world of pet play and enjoy the adventure of stepping away from everyday life into a persona that celebrates creativity and joy.
Enhancing Your Pet Play Experience
To complement your hood, consider adding a latex bodysuit or lacy lingerie that aligns with your persona. Whether you prefer something snug-fitting or adorned with fur to enhance your animal-like feel, covering your body in gear can help you fully embrace your pet persona.
Exploring the D/s Aspect
If you want to dive deeper into the D/s aspect of puppy play with a partner, take inspiration from Aviva Diamond. Incorporate props for impact play, leashes, harnesses, or toys that can transform your bedroom into a puppy playland. Building a sex toy chest tailored to your preferences can make your role-playing experience more immersive and enjoyable.
Custom Gear
For seasoned pets looking to elevate their play, it's suggested to exploring local gear makers or custom pieces on platforms like Etsy. This allows you to create a gear ensemble that perfectly matches your unique pup identity. Customized hoods, suits, and accessories let you express your individuality and build a gear collection that truly reflects your inner pet.
The Bottom Line
Engaging in a satisfying D/s scene or joining the pet play community doesn't always require an elaborate array of props. Pet play is about freeing yourself from inhibitions and discovering a unique form of self-expression. Like Pup Kiva, it’s about relinquishing control to live out exciting sexual experiences.
Warn emphasizes that the pet play community offers "a warm and friendly atmosphere where people are playful and open to connecting with others." You’ll find close-knit pup packs, sharing tips and tricks, and a vibrant exchange of knowledge and experiences.
To enhance your pet play experience, consider developing your animal persona by exploring their looks, personality, and group interactions. Researching and investing in custom gear can also bring your fantasies to life. Sometimes, adding a new layer to your sexual expression is simply about taking the first step and putting one paw in front of the other.