When safety is a priority in your consensual spanking sessions, you can fully explore and enjoy all aspects of spanking and kinky discipline.
Feeling kinky? You’re not alone. Many adults find immense pleasure in consensual spanking. A 2017 survey by Lovehoney revealed that 75% of men and 66% of women have tried spanking. Both the spanker and the spankee can experience a wide range of positive sensations and emotions, along with significant physical stimulation.
The Appeal of Spanking
Spanking, when part of a consensual and sensual session, can help release oxytocin, dopamine, and adrenaline, which contribute to feelings of pleasure. Research indicates that pain, when received in a sexy context, can induce a trance-like state or even ecstasy. Benefits include pleasure, stress relief, and the psychological enjoyment of power dynamics. This has led to the practice of "spanking therapy."
Tips for Safe and Enjoyable Spanking
Spanking can be incredibly fun, but safety is essential. Here are some tips to keep your sessions safe and pleasurable:
Know the Risks
Two main schools of thought exist in BDSM: "risk-aware consensual kink" (RACK) and "safe, sane, and consensual" (SSC). RACK acknowledges the inherent risks in BDSM activities, while SSC focuses on pre-determined safe activities. Regardless of the approach, it's crucial to understand and manage the risks involved.
Play Sober
Avoid mind-altering substances, as they can impair pain perception and control, making spanking dangerous.
Be Clear on Consent
Spanking requires informed, enthusiastic, and ongoing consent. Discuss your desires and boundaries beforehand and check in regularly to ensure you’re both comfortable. Never assume consent or pressure a partner into spanking.
Keep Communication Open
Establish a safeword before you begin. A safeword should be something you wouldn't typically say during sex or BDSM play. Common safewords include "green" for go, "yellow" for slow down, and "red" for stop. This ensures that play remains consensual. If using gags or hoods, agree on non-vocal signals, like hand gestures or a bell.
Mind Your Aim
Focus on fleshy areas like the buttocks and thighs, avoiding the abdomen, lower back, tailbone, hips, spine, ears, head, feet, and calves to prevent injury. Distribute swats evenly for a thorough and enjoyable spanking.
Erotic Spanking Implements
Your choice of spanking implement affects the experience. Consider whether you want short-range or long-range spanking and the level of sting and marks you desire.
Short-Range Implements
- Hand: Gentle, less sting, results in light splotches.
- Strap: Moderately intense, results in bright patches.
- Paddle: Most intense, leaves patterned splotches.
Long-Range Implements
- Flogger: Multiple ends, leaves thin welts.
- Riding Crop: Concentrated sting, leaves red welts.
- Cane: Intense, leaves raised welts.
- Tawse: Comparable to a cane, leaves thick red welts.
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Whip: Most painful, leaves thin red welts.
Spanking Positions
Over the Knee (OTK)
Ensure both partners are comfortable. The spanker should sit with both feet flat on the floor to distribute weight evenly and prevent strain. Adjust positions as necessary to maintain comfort.
On the Bed
Spanking on a bed provides support and comfort, making it ideal for romantic or BDSM play. Consider using under-the-bed restraints or bondage cuffs for added fun.
Over Household Furniture
Plan carefully to avoid injuries from sharp edges or objects. Ensure the area is safe for spontaneous spanking.
Specialized Spanking Furniture
Spanking benches and swings are ideal for supportive and safe spanking but may be impractical for home use. If possible, try them at a fetish club or dungeon for a unique experience.
Aftercare and Emotional Safety
Spanking is both a physical and emotional activity. The spanker should ensure the recipient's comfort and enjoyment throughout the session. Aftercare is crucial, involving connection, recovery, and meeting each other's needs through talking, cuddling, or having snacks.
Prioritizing safety allows you to explore the pleasures of spanking and kinky discipline fully. When done right, you can enjoy the intimacy and trust that comes with knowing you are cared for and kept safe, all while having a thoroughly enjoyable experience.
Mind Your Aim
When spanking someone, it's crucial to know where it is and isn't safe to hit. Here are some general guidelines:
- Safer Areas: Focus on meatier, fleshier areas like the buttocks and thighs.
- Avoid: Steer clear of major organs, so avoid the abdomen and lower back. Also avoid the tailbone, hips, spine, ears, head, feet, and calves.
Distributing your swats correctly can make the spanking more thorough and enjoyable. Follow these guidelines:
- 70-80% of the spanking should be on the fullest part of the buttocks.
- 20-30% on the tender sit spots just below the tush.
- 10-20% on the upper thighs for lighter swats.
Erotic Spanking Implements
The choice of implement affects the spanking experience. Consider whether you want a short-range or long-range spanking and how much sting and marking you desire. Here are some options:
Short-Range Implements
- Hand: Convenient and gentle, with less sting. Results in light splotches.
- Strap: Moderately intense with more sting. Results in bright patches.
- Paddle: Most intense, delivering a serious bite and patterned splotches.
Long-Range Implements
- Flogger: Multiple ends, packs a punch, leaving thin welts.
- Riding Crop: Concentrated sting, similar pain level to a flogger, leaves red welts.
- Cane: Less give, very intense, resulting in raised welts.
- Tawse: Similar to a cane, leaves thick red welts, though the sensation is different.
- Whip: Intense sting, considered the most painful, leaving thin red welts.
You can also get creative with household items, but consider the material and how it might affect the spanking.
Adult Spanking How-To
Ready to start spanking? Think about the position of the person you'll be spanking. Ensure they are comfortable, can breathe easily, and feel safe. Here are common spanking positions:
Over the Knee (OTK)
- Ensure the spanker is in a comfortable seat with feet flat on the floor to distribute the recipient's weight evenly.
- Both partners should ensure knees aren't digging into ribs to avoid bruises or breathing issues. Practice to find the right balance and comfort.
On the Bed
- Spanking on a large, comfortable bed is safe and supportive.
- Provides potential for further bondage using under-the-bed restraints or bondage cuffs.
Over Household Furniture
- Spanking over furniture like kitchen counters or tables can be tempting but requires caution.
- Plan your location to avoid sharp edges and potential injuries.
Using Specialized Spanking Furniture
- Sex furniture designed for spanking is ideal if you have the budget and space.
- For most, large spanking furniture is impractical, but trying it at a fetish club or dungeon can be a rewarding experience.
Taking Care During and After a Spanking
Spanking requires physical and emotional care. It involves vulnerability, especially when entering "subspace," a psychological state of intense submission. The spanker should ensure the recipient's comfort and enjoyment throughout. Aftercare is crucial, involving connection, recovery, and meeting each other's needs through talking, cuddling, or having snacks.
Conclusion
By prioritizing safety, you can fully enjoy the pleasures of spanking and kinky discipline. Discover new ways to play together, ensuring that even at your most vulnerable, you are cared for and kept safe.